This past week has been a whirlwind of family, friends and weddings. Sometimes seeming so stressful to try to fit everything, and everyone in, although I am truly happy to have seen so many great friends. Saturday, Tracey and I left our house, which was full of her mother, sister and nephew to go to the first of two weddings that day. The peaceful outdoor wedding of one of my great college friends was a welcome oasis in our helter-skelter whirlwind of a weekend.
I first have a confession to make. I was paying little attention to the ceremony and way more attention to the birds, the scent of the recent rain mixed with nearby lilac bushes and warm sunshine. That is until the pastor, now into his sermon, spoke of “one of the great gifts of marriage”. I zoned in, well-knowing that Tracey may be quizzing me once we were driving to the next wedding. The pastor’s message was simply that marriage allows the couple to take risks that they would not have been able to otherwise. Point taken. Cue the birds, fragrant flowers and sun… I floated off on my own thoughts.
The love and support are there as a safety net, yes, and also as a slingshot! Because of this synergistic union one can go further. This has been extremely important in our marriage. I am lucky and grateful I have Tracey. She has been there for me along our journey, allowing me to take many chances. I’d like to believe that I have provided equally as much support, although I know there is always room for more. As the clouds blocked out the sun and the vows were exchanged, I realized that this is not necessarily exclusive to marriage. It has been present in every great team I have been involved with.
Our success (defined however you see fit at this point) is largely determined by who we surround ourselves with. As a coach and professor I cannot tell you how many times I have heard;
“I want _________ __________ as my teammate. They are so _________ .(fill in the blank with competitive, hard working, dedicated…)
Conversely, for every time I’ve heard the prior statement, this next one easily trumps it.
“Our group would be so much better if _______ ________ would carry their own weight.”
Do you have certain people that inspire you? They add energy to your ideas sometime merely with their attentive presence? A great friend of mine refers to these energy sources as “Tiggers”. Do you know a Debbie Downer, Negative Nancy (I apologize to all the uplifting Debbies and Nancies out there) or energy vampire? Their demeanor becomes an energy sink. These are the “Eeyores”.
The challenge will be to limit your time with Eeyores. Realize that these energy sinks may not be your type of person. Not everyone is made for each other.
By loosening your leash on them they may find someone else who is their type. This will allow them a better chance at success. Now, if you find yourself sporting a pinned-on “woe is me” tail, that’s a whole new ball game that I we should talk about.
So why not fill our time with Tiggers? If we are truly a product of our surroundings then one of the easiest choices on our journey should be to gravitate to those energy sources. Connect with these people on Facebook or LinkedIn today. If we are not already connected, feel free to seek me out on LinkedIn. If there is not already have an existing relationship with someone you want pair up with, ask them to grab a cup of coffee or lunch. Once you recognize these energy sources and connect with them, start selflessly pumping in your own energy. If you’ve developed your mastermind group well, the energy you put in will pale in comparison to what you eventually receive… much like marriage.
It was very fitting that I was pondering these thoughts as we pulled up to our second wedding of the day. One that was absolutely brimming with bouncing Tiggers.
To your success,
To your success,