Man Up

This phrase has filled our lexicon for the past 15 years. What does it really mean? When I was growing up and getting in trouble with my friends, it usually was followed by "... and tell the truth." In sports it was usually an encouraging phrase for someone to step forward and take on the tough task, whatever it may have been. More recently I've heard it used as a forceful backhanded comment, or often a command. "Man up and do it." Where the "it" is usually something that the person delivering the message wouldn't be willing to do himself.

It is this most recent harsh use of the phrase that had me hesitate to use it for the project, no, movement that I will tell you about later. In a well needed, boot-to-the-pants, get-your-head-on-straight pep talk from one of my coaches, I realized that I was pulling my punches in an attempt to make everyone happy and not turn people off. In actuality I was pandering to the bleak middle and not really resonating well with anyone in particular. Now, I know I haven't fully described what this Man Up movement is all about. That will come soon enough. What is important right now is being strong in your convictions and, as the country song by Aaron Tippin (which coincidentally I heard twice this morning as I was landscaping our backyard) puts it "You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.".

I'm not suggesting a stubbornness so blind that you turn 'compromise' into a four letter word. I am suggesting, just as much to you as myself (and Audrey when she gets around to reading this), to take notice of what you passionately believe in and what you do well (don't sell yourself short either). How can you take that combination and change this world for the better. (Lord knows it won't be coming anytime soon from the government! :)  Not all changes have to be earth-shattering. In fact all ideas start small. You never know what ripple effect you may have.

Let me interject a bit of inspiration I recently took from one of my players. She is a very small town gal, who is attending a small private college. This summer she took the huge jump to an internship for the nonprofit World Vision in downtown Chicago where she is working on publications and marketing for a huge fundraiser and running a half marathon this fall. All this from a gal who never voluntarily ran a mile in small town Iowa just a couple years ago.

Many may ask "Why me?" or "Why should I care?" The change in perspective Audrey has brought to Tracey and my's life has been indescribable (for all the parents out there, perhaps you can relate to the instant change of feeling you felt when your children were born. It was a big wow factor!).  I have been focusing more internally by spending time with her at home, yet at the same time so much more externally about how I can shape the world so that she has the best future possible.

I am serious about the charge I made earlier about changing your world.  Of the people I have been blessed to grow up with, to meet at school, to work with, to coach and many that choose to read my blog I have been impressed with the different types of great potential in most all of them (you).  I don't doubt the huge significant betterment our communities would see if we would "Man Up" and be the change we wish to see in the world.  If you are so inclined, I would like to hear, in the comment section or via email, what change you would like to see in this world".



Man Up.

Coach Campbell

Shoot the gaps!

After a short blog hiatus and much loved family vacation (pictures below) I have compiled so many thoughts that I'm bursting to share.  One fire was initially sparked by a great run/talk that my sister, Leah, and I had across and up the sand dunes in Michigan, and she reminded me today with a forward from Martha Beck, a particularly dynamic coach of hers.


"Shoot the gaps" - it is all too familiar to me from my days on the defensive line for the Rockford Warriors football team. Coach would line us up and "Strong side cross" would be called.  Now, you have to understand that as an underclassman I was an especially 'lean' high school boy trying desperately to pack on the pounds (you could say 'lanky' or even the cruel 'skinny', but I preferred 'lean') My task was to take my tall and 'lean' 150 pound frame and cut through the thick 220+ pound senior offensive end and tackles as my defense tackle buddy crossed behind me. 

While this is from my 8th grade year, I know what you are thinking.  "How can someone so tough and fearsome looking have trouble tearing up the offensive line?" I often wondered the same thing. 

"Campbell. What the hell! Why didn't you get through the gap!" To me it sure sounded like he asked me a question. I replied that I simply couldn't fit. 


As I was subsequently running laps around the field I suppose he either didn't want a reply or maybe he saw a gap that I didn't. Maybe it was both. I continued to run, which wasn't helping my 'lanky' predicament.


Maybe Coach did see a gap. I sure didn't, but then again, I was focusing on the daunting figures of Koeningsfeld and Larson across from me. Looking back, I now know that I was my problem. I wasn't looking at the gap, I was looking at the two big reasons why I didn't have a cricket's chance in a chicken coop to make it through. 


Now here is the lesson for all my ballers out there. Next time you play pick-up, whether it's 1-on-1, 21, or a full blown 5-on-5, drive, but don't focus on your opponent. After you glance at their feet to see which is the best way to drive them (attack the front foot!), look to the gap just beyond their hip. That is where you want, scratch that, where you need to be. You won't get there by looking at and speculating about how big, talented or quick your opponent is. 

"Energy flows where attention goes"

Same goes for everyone, baller or not.  Focus on the reasons why you are qualified, the best candidate or have an idea that can be turned into a success. You'll never get off the ground if you look elsewhere. Remember what Gretzky said about missing 100% of the shots you never take.  

It also never hurts to have a great friend/coach/mentor/partner to remind you of all this along the way when the offensive lineman of the world seem a bit too daunting. Thanks big sis!

Our smiles have started to turn into laughs. Completely contagious laughs.

Not only are their pouts similar, they sleep the same too.

Yep. Naps have been a big part of our summer. 

If you haven't noticed, everyone loves taking naps with Baby Audrey. 

Here is a video from our family vacation. 

Peace,


Coach

Teaching Failure and Imperfection

In the fall semester I will have the opportunity to teach a unique class intent on bridging the gap for high schoolers entering a liberal arts college. This class, Intersections (listen closely and you may hear the collective sigh from my players who have begrudgingly taken this class), is a writing intensive exploration into human nature.  Granted, how many college freshman get their thrills by reading authors who don't have current status updates and even worse, writing thoughts deeper and longer than 140 characters?  I'll address my player's universal question of why they have to take this class later... perhaps in the fall during workouts. For now, I would like to share thoughts from a reading my class will soon be absorbing and why it not only matters for them, but for all of us, Audrey included.

The reading is an excerpt from Paul Loeb's "Soul of a Citizen".  While Loeb focuses on developing conviction to create positive social change, I couldn't help but wander off (I may have ADD). His points were spot on for developing conviction that creates change about anything. Personal events both now and in my past quickly came to mind. Loeb writes that significant change and the heros that create it are born out of persevering commitment, abundant failures and imperfection. So obviously he was referring to basketball.

Audrey's first bball shoes compared to me and my 8th grade compadres below. 

Okay, perhaps there are more correlations that just basketball, but I'm running with this one since I don't have a picture of Audrey with a softball to match my Rudd Little League pic.

It now just struck me that there shouldn't be snow in the background.  It didn't matter. Look at us. We were a bunch of tough guys. 

Okay, so commitment, failures and imperfections...

The more committed a player is to practice, the better she becomes. No argument there.

My younger sister, Bissy, was visiting this weekend to help us with Audrey, and undoubtedly to also get her baby fix. After going to the gym to workout, we headed to the court to shoot around for a bit.  Biss is a baller. She has had a very successful high school and college career, so I often go to her to bounce basketball ideas off of. We both agreed that our best level of play came after organized team ball. Why? Because failures became abundant. Gone were the scenarios of being punished for attempting the risky pass, or move that "you shouldn't do".   Once you are free to fail, you find that when you do so, you tend to "fail forward".

Perfectionism

Ahh holy hell. I am going to digress for a bit because I (and many of you) need to take a good swipe at our mortal enemy.  I would be surprised if there were any more than a handful of young adults in this country that didn't suffer from this disease in some form or another. Have you ever wanted to do something yet didn't act because you felt you weren't ready enough, you didn't have enough knowledge about the situation, or perhaps the scenario wasn't exactly right?  Loeb calls it the "perfect standard".  The people we see as a success have been idolized and their achievements glorified.  We feel with certainly that we cannot achieve the lofty accomplishments that the "greats" have because we have these faults, and according to what we see and hear, the successful "greats" have none. They succeeded because they were different, special, flawless. This perfect standard paralyzes us through our imperfection. I won't shovel through the troves of stories that Loeb presents about our perfect heros' mass amounts of baggage. You'll either have to pick up his book or take my word for it. The bigger question that concerns me is why are so many of us infected with perfectionism, and most importantly to me right now, how can I not pass it on to Audrey?  While I don't have a scientific answer, I am willing to bet that our own good role-model intentions have something to do with it. My younger brother, Will, and I have a great relationship.

Day 1 of the Campbell brothers' epic Iowa Road Trip of '06. More about this later.

Yet it wasn't until the last couple of years when he started owning his education did he allude to something that caught me off guard.  He was under the impression that he wasn't as smart as myself when I was his age. He had no idea that his GPA was well above what mine was. Throughout our relationship growing up I chose to only show him my successes and always put my best face forward. Did I do him a disservice by not exposing my faults? This would have shown him that, while not perfect, one can still preserver and reach their goals.

I've gone on enough about the relevancy of these problems. Now, what do we do about them (and how can I shamelessly incorporate a few more pics of the baby)? How do we develop greater conviction and more change as a result? How can I raise Audrey so she has commitment, not afraid of failure and avoids the paralysis of perfectionism? If we can free ourselves from these burdens, we will sing, dance, play, win and laugh wearing a duck towel way more often.

I have three suggestions.

First: If you have a mentor or person whose path you idolize, break them down. Talk to them about their failures. If they are too far removed for a conversation, read an unbiased autobiography.  Also, be sure to be open about the challenging path you have gone through when interacting with others who look up to you.

Second: Practice your shooting against the wall. In coaching, I always want my players practicing their shooting form off the court, away from a basket. In the absence of a basket, the shooter doesn't get discouraged that her shot isn't going in (perfection). Instead she can focus on learning and enjoying the fundamentals that will make her a better player.  Focus on enjoying the process. If you are all about the end goal, then perhaps this particular game is not for you.  By enjoying the process, you will learn and adapt along the way and become quite well at your style. The result?  The shot you take may not be perfect  and swish every time, but your endurance, adaptability and passion for the game will more than make up for the "perfect you" who would still be sitting on the sidelines afraid to take another shot.

Thrice: Remember the magic! This gets back to my duck towel comment earlier, and to those of you who were at Tracey and my wedding, this may sound familiar. In fact, both of us just watched our wedding video for our anniversary last week.  The message is simple and the story is wonderfully written (Thank you Leah). Here is an excerpt.

"Remember the magic. Those words, that day, that promise, have come to mean a great deal to me. They are an instruction in the practice of being fully open to receive the magic, the sacred potential, available in every moment, regardless of whether it is what you wanted or expected, and regardless of the outcome. It is a reminder that what counts is that you bring your best, noble self to whatever you choose to do." (Badertscher, Leah; Genius Hour 1, 2011)

So play for the sake of playing. Enjoy what each moment brings, whether it is during a grueling workout, the middle of the day at the office, or a chance to climb in a tree house and watch the clouds pass with someone special.

Don't hesitate to be your own best self. I'll leave you with a quote that Loeb borrowed from the 18th century Hasidic rabbi Susya.

"God will not ask me why I was not Moses. He will ask me why I was not Susya."

Coach

Taking time to slow time

WOW, what a heat wave!  Ordinarily I wouldn't be found inside on a day like today, but a certain little gal is being very persuasive with her cuddling time.

This past week Tracey and I have been blessed with notes, comments, visits, food!, and a plethora of advice.  The most common being:

"Enjoy all your time with her now. The first year goes by too fast."

Why is that? Our year is made up of ~ 31 million seconds, just like Audrey's.  I'm sure you've noticed, and likely cringed at this fact. As we rack up the years, each season seems to pass more and more quickly. My young summers growing up in Rudd seemed to last forever. 

I have already vowed not to complain about the sleepless nights. In fact, so far, I look forward to my seemingly drunken stumble into her room at 2 AM and peering over her crib to see her beautiful, elusive, dark blue eyes. I am making the most of my time with her... how do I make more of it?

There have been times that I can remember where time has seemingly and graciously braked to let me take my sweet time.

Nestled against a straw bale, watching the clouds pass with Dad as we break from some good ole' fashion farm work. 


Kayaking in Tom Sawyer country on the mighty Mississip. (the rougher the water, the slower time passed! Don't worry Mom, I was wearing a life jacket.)


Road-tripping with my brother in the summers. 


Backpacking through France after undergrad or Tracey and my's trip to Greece a few years ago. 


The morning of our wedding. 


And like I mentioned earlier... my young years up at Rudd. The younger, the longer. 

A commonality that I have found with my 'slow time' is new and enjoyable experiences. It only makes sense that as we pass through life, which some view as cyclical, we repeat activities, we see the same things, "We've done it all".  Some seek to escape this spiral by being thrill-seekers, others have their own Flow activities (basketball and cross-training does it for me).  Well how about breaking this cycle without relying on an external stimulus?

If we cease to label and pre-judge everything we see, won't we be seeing everything again for the first time? The next time you pass by that pasture of cows, don't dismiss it as a just another pasture with cows. See it, enjoy it, all without judging it. Neither good, nor bad... just experience it.

My situation has given me a wonderful opportunity.  Now that I have countless hours at all times of the day where I will be holding, swinging and watching this amazing little girl, I have no excuse not to take that time to practice my "just experience it".  No thought, just a time of mental peace and silence. Pray. Meditate. Pure experience enjoyment.

Now, since you have been so patient in reading my blog, here is a bit of our experience from this past week. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpRDwuzy4Vs

For a more tacit update, Audrey and her mom are doing well. Audrey had a bit of jaundice so she and I spent a little time sunbathing on our deck. Her weight dropped a bit after birth, but has started to rebound and she is on track to gain it all back within a week. Right now she is sitting beside me on Couch (yes, our couch is its own specific entity and deserves to be capitalized) periodically checking on me to make sure I am still close enough to deliver the pacifier. 

Just experience it!

Coach 

Going home!

Audrey makes the trek home today to meet both Grandmas and be introduced to pets. I have to give the hospital staff here at Methodist Hospital a shout out. The nurses have been especially wonderful. Tracey and I joked around that besides our picturesque view of the third floor parking ramp, this stay has really felt like a B&B weekend... with an 'challenging race' to kick it all off.

While here the hospital took these baby pictures for us. If you'd like any of these, or to see more, just throw a comment below and I'll email them to you. (we bought the rights to the whole lot).

As I look over these pics and the last few days, a quote from a Mary Oliver poem seems wonderfully appropriate. 

"What are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Introducing Audrey

Yesterday Tracey and I welcomed Audrey Elizabeth to the Campbell starting line up. Tracey and baby are both doing well. There are many thoughts and learning moments that I wish to share about the entire experience, but for now I'm going to hold, sing and dance with my baby girl.  Here are a couple pictures to tide you over. Stay posted for new pics as we take them.

She has a very easy going, fun loving demeanor, despite her  'tough guy' looking swollen eye. 

Mom and baby a few minutes after her intro.

Very proud pappy

Long and lean.  Definitely got my hands and feet. Hopefully she got her mom's sharp wit!

Coach

'Tigger' Immersion

This past week has been a whirlwind of family, friends and weddings. Sometimes seeming so stressful to try to fit everything, and everyone in, although I am truly happy to have seen so many great friends. Saturday, Tracey and I left our house, which was full of her mother, sister and nephew to go to the first of two weddings that day.  The peaceful outdoor wedding of one of my great college friends was a welcome oasis in our helter-skelter whirlwind of a weekend.

I first have a confession to make. I was paying little attention to the ceremony and way more attention to the birds, the scent of the recent rain mixed with nearby lilac bushes and warm sunshine. That is until the pastor, now into his sermon, spoke of “one of the great gifts of marriage”.  I zoned in, well-knowing that Tracey may be quizzing me once we were driving to the next wedding.  The pastor’s message was simply that marriage allows the couple to take risks that they would not have been able to otherwise. Point taken.  Cue the birds, fragrant flowers and sun… I floated off on my own thoughts.

The love and support are there as a safety net, yes, and also as a slingshot! Because of this synergistic union one can go further. This has been extremely important in our marriage. I am lucky and grateful I have Tracey. She has been there for me along our journey, allowing me to take many chances. I’d like to believe that I have provided equally as much support, although I know there is always room for more.   As the clouds blocked out the sun and the vows were exchanged, I realized that this is not necessarily exclusive to marriage. It has been present in every great team I have been involved with.

Our success (defined however you see fit at this point) is largely determined by who we surround ourselves with.  As a coach and professor I cannot tell you how many times I have heard;

“I want _________ __________ as my teammate. They are so  _________ .(fill in the blank with competitive, hard working, dedicated…)

Conversely, for every time I’ve heard the prior statement, this next one easily trumps it.

“Our group would be so much better if _______ ________ would carry their own weight.”

Do you have certain people that inspire you? They add energy to your ideas sometime merely with their attentive presence? A great friend of mine refers to these energy sources as “Tiggers”.  Do you know a Debbie Downer, Negative Nancy (I apologize to all the uplifting Debbies and Nancies out there) or energy vampire?  Their demeanor becomes an energy sink. These are the “Eeyores”.

The challenge will be to limit your time with Eeyores. Realize that these energy sinks may not be your type of person.  Not everyone is made for each other.

By loosening your leash on them they may find someone else who is their type. This will allow them a better chance at success.  Now, if you find yourself sporting a pinned-on “woe is me” tail, that’s a whole new ball game that I we should talk about.

So why not fill our time with Tiggers?  If we are truly a product of our surroundings then one of the easiest choices on our journey should be to gravitate to those energy sources.  Connect with these people on Facebook or LinkedIn today. If we are not already connected, feel free to seek me out on LinkedIn.  If there is not already have an existing relationship with someone you want pair up with, ask them to grab a cup of coffee or lunch. Once you recognize these energy sources and connect with them, start selflessly pumping in your own energy. If you’ve developed your mastermind group well, the energy you put in will pale in comparison to what you eventually receive… much like marriage.

It was very fitting that I was pondering these thoughts as we pulled up to our second wedding of the day. One that was absolutely brimming with bouncing Tiggers. 


To your success,


Coach